Friday, July 10, 2009

Emphysema Can Kiss It!!

I apologize in advance for my not very nice blog title but I'm not really in a 'nicey-nice' mood about this situation in general. Today was a pretty emotional, crappy day for me and most of all for my mom. She has been having some difficulties breathing on and off for about a year, she didn't think much of it and scheduled a regular check up to talk to her Dr about it Monday. The Dr suggested having some lung function test done this week as well and a chest/lung x-ray. She went for her breathing test today and called me afterwards hysterically crying about the outcome.

My mom was told today that she has emphysema. Seriously, WHAT?! I couldn't hardly focus on what she was saying after that because I was trying SO hard to keep it together to let her know it was OK and she'd get through it and everything will be fine. On the inside I felt like dropping the phone and letting loose. She is having a very hard time with this because in all reality it is something that she has caused herself by smoking almost her entire life. I HATE CIGARETTES!!! It doesn't make the reality of it any less hard to hear knowing that. I told myself after we hung up to stay AWAY from the computer and not do my typical GOOGLE search immediately because I didn't want to freak myself out. I'm telling you in all honesty that I just NOW googled it at 11pm tonight and only looked at the definition I linked you to, I couldn't bare to look at anything else. I don't want to know and I'm going to live in denial for a little bit about it.

The chest x-ray didn't show any major issues thankfully. The exact words from my mom were 'Well at least they didn't find any lung cancer with the x-rays' AAHHHH!!! It terrifies me to no end to think about this disease and how it is going to start affecting my mom down the road. I can't picture my life with out her and I'm not even going to let myself go there. I know this is not a death sentence and I know it can be maintained by certain medicines so that is what I'm going to focus on. Thank you to all my friends/family for your encouraging words today!! They mean the world to me!!

On another note, I was home AGAIN with our youngest today for a repeat of the ear infection she had 2 weeks ago. Apparently it never cleared up the last time and is back in full force. They put her on a stronger antibiotic and I am to follow up with our primary Dr the day she finishes this antibiotic up (we had to use the Take Care Clinic at Walgreens again last night). Addaline was acting just fine yesterday and you couldn't tell a single thing was wrong with her, today was another story. Today she was running a fever of about 103 all day and didn't leave my side again except to take a 4 hour nap. Hopefully it clears up this time and doesn't become a recurring problem.

Tomorrow I have a very good friends baby shower that I'm throwing and then I'm going to hang out with my mom and the girls all day while my hubby works. I'm excited to have some quality time with my daughters and my mother. Sunday is a busy day filled with church, a baby shower at church in the afternoon and then GIRLS NIGHT in the evening. I'm SO excited... some girlfriends and I are going to dinner at our favorite Japanese Steak House and then we're going to see the movie 'The Proposal' which I'm pretty pumped about. Hope everyone has a great weekend!!

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