Yesterday was kind of emotional for me during church, sometimes I feel like our Pastor is speaking directly to me. The sermon yesterday was about 'Giving Yourself Away'. So many times in our lives we fail to do this, because we are to distracted with life, and the things in it. On our sermon notes was a line that read: Wouldn't it be great if we could wake up every day and say "I want to give a piece of myself away today!"
When he started discussing giving yourself away and how 'time' and 'attention' are the only things that CANNOT be replaced, I just lost it. All of these moments flashed in to my head of times that I've been with family/friends/co-workers but I wasn't mentally 'there'. Moments that I've spent with my husband when I was there, but wasn't really there. Moments I've spent with my daughters that I was there with them, but wasn't really. Times I was too worried about my marriage, friendships, finances, laundry, housework, what was next on my to-do list, to pay attention to what was right in front of me. I cried yesterday thinking of all those moments I will NEVER get back, they're gone forever and the only thing I can do is move forward and make new memories and have new moments with the one's that I love.
In the middle of the sermon we watched this video that resonated so much inside me, you guessed it, I cried some more! I can't tell you how many times I've heard this song in my life, and never once did I TRULY listen and pay attention to what the words were really about. I mean I knew what it was about, but it never touched me so much! (Make sure you mute the music @ the bottom of this page so you can hear this song)
I left church thinking about how I could start over tomorrow and the things that I WILL do from now on. If I can change one life, that's more than enough for me in my lifetime. If by giving a piece of myself away means helping my 7 year old with her homework or taking her to a movie so she sees she is still, and always will be half of my heart, I'll give away as many pieces of myself as I can. If it means helping at church Wednesday nights and showing one child love who is longing for it, after I've been home with kids all day, I'll give away as many pieces of myself as I can. If it means sitting down and listening to what my husband has to say and focus 100% percent on the words that are coming out of his mouth instead of thinking of my rebuttal or what needs to be done around the house/or with the kids, I'll give away as many pieces of myself as I can.
I know I need to strive more to give pieces of myself away to people who can never pay me back, and from now on I'll try my hardest!