Hi, y’all! I’m Lindsi from Keeping the Home Fires Burning, and I’m thrilled Molly is letting me share a bit of my story/testimony with you today.
I began blogging just a little over a year ago to share our story and document our journey through infertility with friends and family---little did I know the support and inspiration I’d draw from other women who were walking in my shoes.
Let’s start with the happy ending: We’re expecting our miracle baby in early December!! J If you’d like to read all the medical details of our journey, please jump over to my blog. Today I want to talk about the emotional and spiritual journey we walked through.
When we experienced our first pregnancy loss, I had no idea that I had any sort of “problems.” We chalked it up to “stuff happens,” which is the wisdom we took from the doctor’s office. After the next two pregnancy losses, I found myself in a place of self-pity and self-doubt, questioning my worth as a wife to my husband. From there my thoughts spiraled downward, questioning God. “Why does God allow these things to happen to good people?” “Why does God let all these other undeserving girls become pregnant?” “Surely infertility isn’t God’s plan for my life?!”
I’m not one to be a ‘Debbie Downer,’ so I didn’t like these ugly thoughts and feelings hiding out in my heart. It didn’t take me long to dive into God’s Word and seek His wisdom through prayer. I stopped asking God directly for a child, and I stopped asking Him to provide direct answers to my questions. I started asking for peace, because I knew in His time a plan would be revealed—and it would be PERFECT! God hadn’t ever let me down in my twenty-eight years of life. In fact, His plans for my life (up to that point) had always blown me out of the water.
"But these things I plan won't happen right away. Slowly, steadily, surely the time approaches when the vision will be fulfilled. If it seems slow, be patient! For it will surely take place. It will not be late by a single day."
God heard the cries of my heart! During our last few months of medical treatments, I experienced nothing but a deep, deep peace and comfort knowing my Savior had something amazing in store for our family. There was something beautiful that was done in my heart during that waiting period—no words can do it justice.
We found out we were pregnant very quickly after getting the “two thumbs up” sign from our infertility specialist. My heart has been spilling over with joy the last two months! I’m still in disbelief that God has granted us the deepest desires of our hearts. My spirit has been one of
constant praise for a God of love and immense grace!
This is a song that spoke to my heart time and time again during our ‘waiting phase:’
During my time spent on earth, I've learned that most women are in some sort of waiting pattern--waiting to finish high school, waiting on prince charming, waiting to buy a house, waiting on children, waiting on that big promotion, waiting on grandchildren, waiting on retirement, etc. Us silly women are always waiting (or wishing) our lives away! We get real good at waiting and worrying, don't we?! Take heart, friends! Whatever waiting season you might find yourself in, I hope you cling to the promises of God and let Him do an incredible work in your heart.
Thanks for taking time to let me share my heart with you today! Stop by my blog, I’d love to meet you.